woah that is not enough whipped cream. you need to add enough so that its screams can be drowned out so that no one can hear it. If you haven’t used an entire bowl of miracle whip you aren’t doing it right.
Miracle whip? Isn’t that the stuff you put on sandwiches?
The fuck. I fucked up I fucked iup I fkcued up shit I meant cool whip I fucked up god damn it don’t put mayonnaise on your bmp pumpkin pie kids not unless you want children to scream in anguish at a movie theater during your favorite part in the movie
this is the most american post
(Source: , via mythicaleditor)
The three things I hate the most are irony, cliffhangers, and
You really only understand how drunk you are when you’re peeing
There needs to be a bar or club or something that when you walk in there’s a rack of different color wristbands with words like “I looking for-“
- no one
So that everyone would know who’s looking for who.
"Hey that girl is cute. And her wristband says she’s also looking for a girl. Sweet!”
"He’s cute, but his wristband says girls. Oh well."
you are the future